Updated: May 21, 2020
By Will Ortner
In honor of the trailer for The King of Staten Island dropping on the day I’m writing this, at least four days before you are reading this, I wanted to review a Pete Davidson movie. Since he doesn't have any on Netflix, The Dirt doesn't count; I'm reviewing his special standup live from New York. Does a special standup count as a movie? Yes, this is my blog, so I make the rules.
While many people know Pete as the guy who dated Ariana Grande, he got his start at 17 years old doing standup. Since then, he has been known as the guy who does his standup routine on the SNL Weekend update.
Look, while I’m going to make fun of Pete for the rest of the blog, I want to address the fact that he gets a bad rap. Pete is a funny dude who had a bad breakup and has some demons. I hope that we can all give him a fair shake from now on with his projects. That being said I agree with Barstool Sports; he has B hole eyes.
Pete has a part in his special when he finally lets loose about the breakup with Grande. I won't ruin the joke, but he complains about Grande, claiming that he has a big d***. Sorry, the Head Suit won't let me say d***. I don't think saying d*** is a big deal. 50% of us have d***s. But, he was like d*** is a bad word, and I was like nu-uh and was like ya huh. Long story short, I lost the argument.
Sorry, no more d*** talk. I did find his piece on Ariana hilarious. Look, we all have our struggles with our ex's. I can't follow my ex-girlfriends on social media because it makes me angry. I know I'm not the only one here with this problem. I can only imagine what it would be like if my ex were an international pop star who wrote multiple songs about me and my d*** (sorry couldn't help myself. I’m a d***).
Did I write this blog to make a bunch of d*** jokes that are funny at first, annoying in the middle, and then funny again at the end? Yes, yes, I did. Look, I wanted to write a funny blog about Pete, but I struggled a bit because I know how much everybody attacks him. We should give him more of a break. I did enjoy his standup and would recommend to people who like to laugh—876 out of 943 stars.
SHAMELESS PLUGS: Make sure to check out my Netflix top ten reviews this upcoming week and come back next week when I review the new Chris Hemsworth movie. Also, watch Guy vs. Girl on 88.1 The Burg's website and social media sites. Also, listen and watch Ort and the Bear every week Tuesday through Friday. Also Also Also, follow me on Twitter and Instagram @willortner.
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