As Valentine's day has come and gone, relationships (whether you are in one or not) have been the topic of conversation around campus. During your final years of school, it might be hard to give 100% to all aspects of your life. If you are in a relationship or are contemplating one, here are a few pointers to keep a healthy relationship in college.
1. Find Your Love Language I recently found out about the five love languages from my co-workers, and I was blown away by how accurate the results were. Words of affirmation, receiving gifts, acts of service, quality time and physical touch are the five types. Knowing your love language can allow you to understand how your partner likes to receive affection. Here is the link for you and your partner to take the test at home! https://www.5lovelanguages.com/
2. Prioritize Prioritizing is essential with most things in life, but especially with a significant other. If you visit them after you've both had a long day, try to focus on them more than your phone (for at least a little bit). Even if you aren't able to see them for a while, be sure to schedule a call or face time at some point. Making sure your partner is aware of their value is crucial in maintaining a relationship.
3. Communicate This might seem like common sense, and you're probably thinking, "Duh, I tell them about my day all the time." But it's not just relaying information about events that occurred. It's talking about your feelings, your life plans, your beliefs, your finances, all of the things you might not tell your boss. Without communication, messages can be misconstrued; words can become hurtful; relationships can crumble. Talk to your partner about your concerns, your love for them, how you deal with stress, etc. Difficult situations become easy when you can communicate with your significant other
4. Have Patience Waiting in line for your coffee or watching the WiFi try to connect with low service can be painful. In a relationship, this feeling can be similar. It is necessary to listen to your partner's side of an argument, understand that they might not be as ready to settle down as you are, cut them a little slack on habits that might annoy you, etc. Allowing your partner to be themselves around you (and vice versa for them) will create a safe space that can be appreciated by the both of you. (Make sure to communicate if something they are doing is too much for your liking).
5. Trust Without trust in a relationship, there is nothing. The absence of trust means constant doubt, insecurities, late nights worrying, and a mess of emotions. You fell in love with your partner for a reason, and they fell in love with you too. Be confident in what you have and talk to them if something makes you uncomfortable. Honesty in a relationship will be the foundation of your trust and the way your bond as a couple will grow stronger.
Relationships aren't always pretty, but once you get past the speed bumps, everything is will go much smoother. Enjoy every moment and memory you make with your partner. Love is messy, but love is beautiful.
- Savannah Scriven