Around the Weird: Avril Lavigne

May 26, 2017

Photo Credit: Google, labeled for reuse.

 

Hello, citizens of the weird. I, Mr. Nothing, am extremely pleased that you have joined me (willingly or unwillingly) for another blog post. It is important that you get a daily or weekly dose of the weird. It has keep your bones sturdy and prevents the ghouls from stealing your brain.  In the past, I have enlightened you with stories of phantom kangaroos and legends of ghosts. This week I want to inform you about something that I have been made aware of recently. This blog post of the weird concerns a person who is living. It is about time that I share the legend of Avril Lavigne.

 

Who is Avril Lavigne? Scientists are still debating the answer to that question. Some insist she is a figment of our imagination while other experts argue that the real Avril Lavigne was the friends we made along the way. Regardless of the scientific answer, there is much social debate as to who Avril Lavigne is. This recently came up on social media when people started to restart the long-debated rumor that Avril died in the early 2000s and was replaced by a body double named Melissa. You could argue that this process of replacing a beloved pop star was…complicated.

 

Is this the truth though? Was Avril Lavigne replaced by a body double into to continue the legacy of the Skater Boi? I say there are other better answers to this weird question. It is entirely possible that Avril Lavigne is a shape-shifter. She is merely shifting into a shape that makes her feel most comfortable. This means removing moles, changing the shape of her nose, or resizing her ears. It is her prerogative to do whatever makes her the most comfortable. It is also possible that she is trolling everyone and changing herself in minor ways to get people to talk more about her. I must raise a far more important question, however. Isn’t it possible that Avril Lavigne never existed? It would be difficult for a body double to replace her if she was a figment of our collective imaginations. Maybe we all just wanted the song “Hello Kitty” to exist. Maybe it is written in the very fabric of our humanity to want a song like “Skater Boi” to be real. You might ask how she could be imaginary if you recall seeing her on TV and in music videos. I would respond by asking if you are truly sure that you saw Avril Lavigne. Perhaps you saw a basket of tacos and became confused. It also is likely that you are mistaking Cher for Avril Lavigne again. The next time that you see what you believe to be Avril Lavigne please make sure to adjust your eyes as it could help you realize how wrong you are.

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