Around the Weird in 80 Days: Unsocial Media

January 25, 2017

 

Screams and screeches, citizens of the weird. It has been a strange and exhausting week what with the Forsaken Ones announcing that no one is allowed to eat tacos anymore. Nevertheless, we will carry on (my wayward son). I hope this blog gets to you well through all of the snow and freezing rain. If your house is no more than 50% ice, I am afraid that it is already too late for you. While you wait for your certain doom, I hope you will reflect on my show last week about Atlantis. I also hope you will enjoy this blog this week about social media.

 

Everyone loves social media. Presidents love it, business people love it, and death spiders living inside your dog love it. However, a vital question persists about social media. What is it? More specifically, what is Facebook? I have heard many a person scream and declare prophesy about Facebook, but I have never witnessed a Facebook in person? Is it something you eat? Is it a specific person that you must sacrifice to the Forsaken Ones? No one will tell me. This is somewhat problematic given that everyone is required by federal law to spend at least four hours on Facebook a day.

 

I have heard rumors of Facebook. I have heard that it was created by acclaimed baker and poet Mark Zuckerberg while he was earning his degree in particle physics at an unknown university in Argentina. I also have learned that Facebook is a regular meeting place for members of the Lizard Society and the Illuminati. This is, of course, ridiculous. The Illuminati haven’t been heard from since Thomas Edison left the group in 1742. Perhaps all this rumor and hearsay is a sign that Facebook is better left unknown. Maybe if I learn more about Facebook I will become changed and/or ruined for life. I suggest we all take this advice. It is better to forget about social media and shun those that choose to talk about it.

 

Those are my thoughts about the oddity that is social media. If you would like to hear more, perhaps you could follow me on Twitter (@citizenniles) or on Facebook (Around the Weird). In the meantime, perhaps you could join me in talking about the Weird Saturdays and Sundays from 4-6PM.

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