Photo credit: Google, labeled for reuse
Weird welcomings, citizens of the weird. I hope you found use in learning about the Salem Witch Trials and the tips for spotting witches last week. It is my wish that you use this knowledge for good instead of evil. As I am writing this, there is still one final day left in Spooktober. Yes, we have come upon Halloween. I am excited, as I am a fan of all the creepy and weird costumes. If you still have yet to decide upon a costume, then I have a treat that will delight you and your tendency to wait for things until the last minute. I am going to present possible Halloween costume ideas with advantages and disadvantages.
Vampire: The main advantage here is that you could find this costume anywhere. If you can’t find vampire teeth, you could just use dentures from your grandparents. Of course, there is a chance that real vampires might be attracted to you. When they find out you aren’t a vampire, they will most likely seek to turn you into a real one.
Witch: The advantage is that it will give you a chance to practice your chanting. On the other hand, were you paying attention last week? People will seek to burn you or stone you and that is rarely fun.
A celebrity: You have the advantage of picking from so many different costumes. I would suggest going with future president (insert name of future president). However, you might have to sign autographs if your costume is too good.
Dinosaur: There is no downside to this costume. Dinosaurs are awesome.
A superhero: Everyone loves a superhero. The disadvantage here is that if someone commits a crime, you might have to stop them as people will mistake you for a crime fighter. Do you really want to spend your whole night fighting evil doers?
A cat: It is a simple costume. However, the cats will be most unhappy with your attempt to mimic them. The cats in Ellensburg might even try to eliminate you. Why must you anger the cats?
A pokemon: There are so many to choose from for costumes. You have an opportunity to express yourself. Unfortunately, the rise of Pokemon Go means that many young people will try to capture you and possibly turn you into candy. They might make you fight other people dressed as pokemon.
Something meta: This is a chance to do something thought-provoking. You could show people how clever you are. Perhaps dress up as “irony” itself. The downside is that people will become annoyed easily. They will consider you a hipster and plan for your demise. Oops.
I hope this list provided valuable insight. Don’t forget to tune in Monday night at 9PM as I tell you about the untold spooky nature of Halloween.